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Here's the weekly astrological forecast for May 14-21, 2008. What's your sign, baby? They're all here...

ARIES... Read more

Here's the weekly astrological forecast for May 7-14, 2008. What's your sign, baby? They're all here...... Read more

Here's the weekly astrological forecast for April 30-May 7, 2008. What's your sign, baby? They're all here....

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your power symbol for the week is an ant carrying a potato chip. It means you’ll possess so much strength that you’ll be able to hold aloft burdens that are much bigger than you. More than that, Aries, you’ll look graceful doing it. And here’s the kicker. That giant load you carry may ultimately provide nourishment not only for you but also for everyone back at the nest.... Read more

Here's the weekly astrological forecast for April 23-April 30, 2008. What's your sign, baby? They're all here....... Read more

Here's the weekly astrological forecast for April 16-April 23, 2008. What's your sign, baby? They're all here.... Read more

Here's the weekly astrological forecast for April 9-April 16, 2008. What's your sign, baby? They're all here.... Read more

Here's the weekly astrological forecast for April 2-April 9, 2008. What's your sign, baby? They're all here.... Read more

Here's the weekly astrological forecast for March 27-April 2, 2008. What's your sign, baby? They're all here.... Read more

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The Bible says you should kill adulterers, homosexuals and brides who aren’t virgins (Leviticus 20:13 and Deuteronomy 22:21). But I beg you not to do any such thing. The good book also asserts that it’s OK to beat your servants as long as you don’t go too far and murder them (Exodus 21:21). Again, I ask you to ignore this advice. I furthermore pray that you won’t circumcise your heart, as recommended in Jeremiah 9:26.... Read more

March 12-19

ARIES (March 21-April 19): He “cleans up well” is prison lingo. It refers to a convict who, upon leaving jail, is able to overhaul his appearance and demeanor so thoroughly that no one can tell he has served time. I believe that in the coming weeks you will have access to another version of this skill. You will so completely erase the traces of your own personal version of “incarceration” that everyone will assume that you’ve always been a free bird.... Read more