Foodie verse from rhymin' readers
Readers responded enthusiastically to our first-ever food-related limerick contest. Traced back to 14th-century England - and probably some pub - the five-line limerick is the Rodney Dangerfield of poetry: It just doesn't get much respect. But limericks do get the most laughs, in part because of their usually bawdy nature.
Most of the limericks we received stayed within wholesome bounds, but perhaps that's appropriate for verse about food. Unfortunately, some writers permitted themselves excessive "poetic license" - way too many syllables, improper rhythm or rhyme. (You know who you are if your submission isn't on these pages.) A few entries needed gentle editing to fit the form, or required us to relax the scan standards. Some writers got it just right.
The lucky limerick winner? Selina French of Stowe, who composed the first verse printed here. She wins a breakfast for two at Penny Cluse in Burlington!
A close runner-up is the limerick by Steven Hanson of Richmond. Funny, the top two had something to do with burger joints. Perhaps more surprising: Not one of the entries we received referred to Nantucket.
WINNER:
In Stowe as I ponder my lunch,
do I crave a full meal or a munch?
There's sweet and there's spicy,
there's way overpricey
but no Mickey Dees in the bunch!
- Selina French
RUNNER-UP:
When you're hungry but so full of woe,
and your cash flow is scarily low,
there's a burger in town
that won't let you down -
Al's French Frys is the place to go.
- Steven Hanson
THE REST:
Though late night's a feast for the eyes,
it's the belly that gets the surprise.
Whether hot dogs or sausage,
in the mouth it gets tossaged,
and topped off with hot gravy fries.
- Damon Brink
An egg is a devilish thing
that can also be in à la king
or phoo yong, or a cup,
even sunny-side up.
Here's to yolks, and the jokes that they bring!
- Regina Murray Brault
There once was a gard'ning fanatic
with seed packs from cellar to attic.
She lived in Vermont -
what more could one want?
Though the seasons are somewhat erratic.
- Lisa Schamberg
There once was a café at Myers
whose bagels were cooked with wood fires
Boar's Head all the time
made their sandwiches fine.
Soups and sweets that would please any buyers!
- The Café at Myers
The best place to eat is 5 Spice
if you try the mock duck or the rice.
We all love dim sum,
can't help but say "yum,"
and each time the staff is so nice.
- Jamie Garvey
A chocolate-dipped pear is sublime,
a cheesecake with cherries divine.
But after a dinner
I'm trying to get thinner,
so treasures I tend to decline.
- Alison James
A snob with a snood in her hair
attended a fancy affair -
caviar, pink champagne,
candlelight, snood aflame.
"My dear," they said, "you have such flair."
- Regina Murray Brault
You can't beat the food at Vietnam,
though the dining is not very "glam."
The pho is a winner
and a pretty cheap dinner
will make you as glad as a clam.
- Jamie Garvey
There's a restaurant called Trader Duke's
where you'll eat so much chow you might puke.
They've got eggs, bacon, pastry,
and sausage so tasty,
and it's all cooked there fresh, it's not nuked.
- Hunter Hard
There once was a turnip named Hal
whose friend was a carrot called Cal.
They went on a bender,
wound up in a blender
that liquefied Hal and his pal.
- Dan DeSanto
There was an old fish egg named Plato,
alone in a jar in Laredo.
It never would last,
it wanted a blast,
so it burst like a hot baked potato.
- Megan Force