Mistress Maeve
Dear Mistress,
I'm a guy in my early thirties, and I've been seeing a woman for a few months. She has completely blown my mind wide open about sex. Until her, I'd always had "pleasant" sex with my girlfriends. Now I never know what to expect. She recently fulfilled a long-time fantasy of mine by meeting me for a drink at a bar on Church Street wearing nothing but a garter belt, stockings and high heels underneath an overcoat. Needless to say, it was hot!
So, what's the problem? I feel like she's doing all the work, and I'm just going along for the ride. I try to think of things that I could do to excite her as much as she excites me, but I find myself doubting my abilities. I worry my ideas will fall flat, and I'll look like an ass. How can I repay her for all the unbelievable sex she's given me?
Signed,
Indebted
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Dear Indebted,
Stop living like you're in debt and begin living like a rich man, because you've certainly hit the jackpot with this partner.
While it's admirable that you want to reciprocate the naughty gifts your girlfriend is masterfully giving, you can't let your penchant for payback paralyze you and make you doubt your abilities. Remember, there's nothing more unattractive than low self-esteem.
In all likelihood, your girl is enjoying every sinful second of your love affair just as much as you are. Your encouragement and willingness to bend to her every whim must be a turn-on for her, or else she wouldn't keep dreaming up dirty deeds to share with you.
That said, you always want to be an equal partner in your relationship. The best way to know if you're living up to your partner's expectations is simply to ask. Tell her how enamored you are of her overactive erotic imagination and ask her if you can contribute further. She sounds like an über-confident woman — I'm sure she'll let you know if it's time to pay the piper.
Imaginatively yours,
MM