Slip and Slide (Out)

Dear Mistress,

I am in my forties, have given birth once and have been sexually active throughout most of my adult life. Twice in the past two years, younger men in their twenties have hit on me — and I had sex with one of them. His penis seemed large enough to me, but it slipped out a few times. Is it possible that I am too loose, given my experience level and childbirth? In your response to “Reluctant Archer” on November 26, you seemed to suggest that slippage is more a function of the male’s thrusting than the looseness of the vagina?

I’d love to know what your advice is in this situation.

Signed,
Please Don’t Use My Name

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Dear P.D.U.M.N,

Kudos to you, Madame Cougar, for reeling in men in their twenties!

Though some women swear they’ve experienced extreme vaginal stretching post-childbirth, most sources agree that the vagina eventually regains its muscle tone. And, unless you’ve been having sex with a man 10 times the size of John Holmes, you’re probably not going to stretch your vagina through intercourse, either.

Most penis slippage is due to erratic thrusting or poor choice of position — every body is different, and couples should identify which sexual positions work best for intercourse. Plus, the young bucks you’ve been attracting may not be as sexually experienced as some of your past partners. I’m guessing it’s their experience, not the size of your vagina, that’s causing the slippage.

However, if you’re not feeling as tight as you’d like, you can try doing some Kegel exercises. Just as lifting weights at the gym tones your limbs, working out your pelvic floor muscles can tighten and tone your vagina — and that can lead to more explosive orgasms for you. For more info on Kegel exercises, click here [1]. Or, you can watch this video [2] of a vulva puppet doing Kegels.

Clench and release,
MM