Mistress Maeve
Dear Mistress Maeve,
I'm a young man in my mid-twenties with a pretty kickass girlfriend who I've been seeing for about four months. The sex is the best I've ever had (and I think the best she's ever had). But she doesn't let me go down on her. Every time I've tried, she squirms away and makes a face like she just smelled spoiled milk. I haven't said too much about it for fear that she has reasons she doesn't want to share, but I'm really jonesing to taste her. I really like this girl, and I want to be as close to her as possible. Help?
Signed,
Oral Optimist
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Dear O.O.,
For many women, receiving oral sex is an intensely intimate experience. For some, cunnilingus is even more intimate than intercourse, as it causes them to feel more vulnerable, exposed and out of control — all good things, if you're ready to experience them with your partner.
In all likelihood, your girl has bought into the myriad of marketing tactics that send a strong anti-vagina message to women. With all the advertising for douches, perfumes and scented wet-naps, it's a miracle that women are willing to take off their underwear. Or she could have had a negative oral experience with some jerk from her past.
Either way, the remedy is the same. Talk to her about her vagina — the more comfortable you are with her body, the more of it she'll share with you. Reassure her that you adore everything about her vagina — the feel, the smell, the wetness. Without being pushy, tell her how much you desire to be close to her most intimate body part. Gently encourage her to tell you what's up with the spoiled-milk face.
Once you've built up enough trust, your girl will most likely open up and either allow you to go down on her or explain why she's uncomfortable with oral. So you'll either be granted your deepest wish, or learn that you’ll have to respect her oral boundary.
Licks,
MM