Dear Mistress Maeve,
I started seeing a guy a month ago, and I think the relationship has potential. We've had sex a few times now, and I have no complaints about the actual intercourse — he's energetic, long lasting and skilled. However, I've noticed something that's perplexing me. Aside from the intercourse, he doesn't touch me "down there." We do foreplay, but it's mostly about him. Luckily, I have no problem climaxing from intercourse, but I don't understand why he doesn't want to explore my body more.
Like I said, we've only had sex a few times, and I keep thinking maybe he'll become more hands-on as we get comfortable with one another, but what if he doesn't? I'm hesitant to say anything because I also don't want him to touch me out of obligation. Your thoughts, Mistress?
You're right — the more sex you have with your partner, the better you'll understand how to pleasure each other. Be that as it may, you shouldn't wait around hoping he'll magically figure out what makes you tick — it's time to communicate.
Sure, it's possible that your guy is selfish and only cares about his own needs; however, it's far more likely that he wants to satisfy you and simply doesn't know how. Let's face it: The female form is complicated, and it can intimidate some men — especially if he's never had a communicative female partner.
The next time you're in bed, seductively tell him what you'd like him to do. If you're not a big talker, guide his hands to the right spot and encourage him with verbal and physical cues. If he's worthy of your attention, he'll happily oblige — if he balks, it's time for him to take a walk.